Saturday, August 4, 2012

The Haunting of Whaley House (2012)

Directed By: Jose Prendes

Rating: Unrated

Runtime: 90 minutes

"The Haunting of Whaley House" was our Scary Movie Night pick. Needless to say, we were shammed! About the only thing well done for this film was the front movie cover (props to the graphic designer). The addition of the "Based on True Events" heading as well as the bold quote of praise is probably the only reason that movie watchers may pluck this off the shelf. Now we've all heard of B movies and I've seen some that are actually good in their own way. I would not classify this film as a B movie. No, it ranks somewhere down under, whatever classification that may be. 

A little background on what you may be or may have already gotten yourself into when viewing this film. Venezulean director Jose Prendes has a preference for writing and directing within the horror genre. His previous directing works include "The Monster Man," "Corpses Are Forever" and "Nannyland." I already have a smirk on my face and I haven't even listed his script credits. Let me just say that Prendes wrote a script for "The Haunting of Winchester House" three years prior to the release of "The Haunting of Whaley House." I'm no writer extraordinaire, but something tells me that you probably shouldn't reuse the words "The Haunting of..." for a new film script. But I'm off topic - I'm two paragraphs in and I haven't even gotten to the film review yet, but I promise you, you're not missing much. 

"The Haunting of Whaley House" has a cast of no-name actors. The plot can be summarized as a bunch of late teens / early twenty-somethings go into a house one night that is supposedly haunted. Their mission objective - to investigate the supernatural. What they end up getting - a night of murder and really really bad acting. I've never seen a film where actors don't know what to do onscreen. Literally, throughout a large majority of the takes inside the house, many actors who didn't have dialogue end up smiling or making odd gestures. One particular actress who does this throughout the entirety of the film is Arielle Brachfeld who plays Vanessa Dane. Not only were her facial expressions just plain freaky at times, she had a huge smile planted on her face during takes where she shouldn't have been smiling. This in itself would have made the film ridiculous enough, but there's more.

In one scene a girl is standing outside of the house, channeling a conversation with a ghost that appears in the window. The ghost apparently tells the girl to pick up an ax, which is conveniently on the ground right near her feet. She grabs the ax and begins to chop herself in the neck while maintaining the goofiest smile that I've ever seen. Then, shortly after this scene is a man and a woman getting ready to go on a date. The man is trying to find a cat to give it food near the house. Why he felt compelled to feed a cat late at night, I have no clue. The voloptuous blonde that is with him attempts to distract him by showing off her breasts, which look as fake, but maybe not as big as Pamela Anderson's silicone sensations. When her date isn't responding, she just walks away and that's the last we see of her. He, on the other hand, ends up impaling himself on a stationary water pump. What does this all mean? Nothing - absolutely nothing. "The Haunting of Whaley House" is a film that is laughable due to its preposterous attempt at creating horror that actually might scare someone. The only thing scary about this film was the acting!

Thumbs DOWN


  1. after reading your review i think ill save myself time and punishment and will not see this movie,thanks for the heads up.

  2. Are u kidding me it should be nominated for screen actors guild awards